Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end…
“Closing Time” Semisonic
The thing about time travel is that it’s much slower than people think. You can only go second by second, minute by minute, day by day. And worse, you can only travel forwards. Eventually, after hours, days, weeks and months, you find yourself years into the future.
Sometimes, within those years, big noticeable things happen. You get divorced. You move interstate. You adopt a cat. You nearly die.
But most of the time, the days and weeks are filled with small incidental things. You wake up. You shower. You follow your meal plan. You take baths. You swim in the sea. You fold laundry. You swallow your meds. You learn to knit.
And then, one day, you make friends. You fall in love. You become a stepmum.
Life shifts you into the strangest of places, the lovingest of arms and the kindest of corners. It’s not all brightness and light, of course. Life doesn’t work that way, even for the most charmed. But second chances exist everywhere.
I began writing in 2010 as a way of processing both the physical and psychological aspects of the mental illnesses I was experiencing, although I never intended it as therapy. I blogged publicly but anonymously about my experiences for almost five years. Just over a year ago, having not written for some time, I chose to end the blog so that I could focus on re-configuring previous work, as well as new material, into something that resembled a memoir. As that process is nearing completion, I have been feeling confused about what to do with this space.
I could have started a new blog. In fact, I created several. But none of them had the captivating or familiar feel of this place. Coming here feels like coming home.
Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end. This is my new beginning. This is my homecoming.