At the end of a year, people like to make resolutions, create goals or define ambitions for the next year. These can be helpful but they can also make life overwhelming, so they tend to fall by the wayside as the year goes on.
What if, instead of adding responsibilities and commitments to our lives, we set an intention to let some things go? Things that no longer serve us. Things that take up time, create stress but don’t add a lot of value to our lives. What if we stopped sending our energy into those things, instead, directing it towards what is really important to us? I’ve let go of many things in the last few years. I’ve become better at trimming the trappings of my life that do not add meaning. But I need to do more.
Letting some things go will be difficult. But energy flows where your attention goes. And focusing on some things, even though they would be good, isn’t beneficial. I need to save my energy and say good bye to some dreams.
So in 2018, I am choosing to invest my energy into those things — mostly people — that really matter to me and whose love and support can always be relied upon.
Welcome to this special Christmas edition of Music Monday.
Recently on Instagram, I commented that it’s been three years since I relocated to regional Victoria — and not a day goes by where I wish I was anywhere else.
My sis-in-law commented that not a day goes by where she doesn’t wish she was somewhere – possibly anywhere – else.
I’ve been nomadic my entire life. Places don’t hold me — only people do. And even that is a recent development. Family means something quite different to me these days.
Today we celebrated Christmas, and family, at our place. And I loved every minute of it.
Merry Christmas friends, family and internet folks.
Have yourself a merry little Christmas Let your heart be light From now on, our troubles will be out of sight Have yourself a merry little Christmas Make the Yuletide gay From now on, our troubles will be miles away Here we are as in olden days Happy golden days of yore Faithful friends who are dear to us Gather near to us once more Through the years we all will be together If the fates allow So hang a shining star upon the highest bough And have yourself a merry little Christmas now
Have yourself a merry little Christmas Let your heart be light From now on, our troubles will be out of sight Have yourself a merry little Christmas Make the Yuletide gay
From now on, our troubles will be miles away Here we are as in olden days Happy golden days of yore Faithful friends who are dear to us Gather near to us once more Through the years we all will be together If the fates allow So hang a shining star upon the highest bough And have yourself a merry little Christmas now
Until I’m six feet under Baby I don’t need a bed Gonna live while I’m alive I’ll sleep when I’m dead ‘Til they roll me over And lay my bones to rest Gonna live while I’m alive I’ll sleep when I’m dead
I used to be proud of how little I slept.
“Only three hours?” others would stare and squint at me suspiciously. But it was amazing — I had so many more hours in the day than “normal people”.
Developing healthy sleep habits was a large part of my treatment; building a routine, sleeping even when I didn’t want to, shifting my thoughts about what needing sleep meant (turns out, it doesn’t make you weak). Now I’m regularly able to sleep for five to six hours — which may not seem like much but is double what I was getting several years ago.
Recently, I’ve moved to permanent shift work involving a pattern of night shifts and I’m in the process of converting my sleep rhythms so that I sleep during the day. I’ve always slept better during the day than at night…except when I am woken up.
The screen is blank. The cursor blinking, ready and waiting to be pushed forward by keystrokes that form words, sentences, coherent thoughts.
Writing a blog post was supposed be easier than editing my book. But it’s not.
Sometimes, when there is too much to say, it’s easier to say nothing. I don’t know where to start. But maybe that’s the point. Do we ever? Is there even a beginning?
Time is a human construct based primarily on natural occurrences. The spin of the earth on its axis, offering us both darkness and light. The orbit around the sun providing us with seasons. We break these units into ever smaller increments. Hours. Minutes. Seconds. We quantify these periods into days, weeks, months, and we count their passing.
But what do we do with all this time? How often do we pay attention? Because life is both long, and short. It can change slowly over many years. Or irrevocably, in fragments of seconds. At times, it seems not to change at all.
Endings feel easier to identify than beginnings. But the truth we often hide from ourselves is that the edges are blurry. Endings and beginnings overlap and blend into each other. Most of life can’t be sectioned neatly into containers and labelled, even though I often wish it could. And once, believed I was an expert at it.
That too, was an untruth, like many things we often believe. If you undertake the process of self-examination and pick away at the surface of your thoughts to reveal the underpinning beliefs, the reality can often be ugly. Or at the very least, uncomfortable. I began that process in earnest when I started this blog in 2010. While my focus has shifted at various points, I will never be finished.
Sometimes, the hardest thing we do, is tell someone how we feel.
We make up stories about how they might react (we’re usually wrong), we let fear control our feelings (which isn’t productive at all) and we play contortionist with the truth in our attempts to protect those small, soft parts in our hearts.
But when you need that person, when you live with that person, when you love that person – it’s the only option. And oh so worth it.
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