When you argue with reality, you lose. But only 100% of the time. There’s only one thing harder than accepting that. And that’s not accepting it. Byron Katie
I’m home from holidays. And ready to write.
While I’ve been gone, an old fire has been burning. Weighted words have bubbled up to the surface; simmered, waited.
But the only way to keep moving forward is by putting one foot in front of the other.
The only way to write is a word followed by a word followed by another.
I’ve had the house to myself for almost two weeks now. I’ve never lived alone because of personal security and safety fears/phobias and associated OCD but these last two weeks have actually been glorious. And awful.
I’ve been able to do whatever I liked. Which mostly means tidying up, throwing things out, and keeping everything clean.
But it also meant streaming whatever music I wanted to listen to through the house at any time of day or night. I’ve had an acoustic covers Spotify playlist on repeat for a few weeks but a few days ago, a friend on Instagram introduced me to LP.
And oh my god. All I listen to now is LP, on repeat, at maximum volume. Something in her vocals digs right into my gut and it is stirring up too many memories. Too many feelings. But I can’t turn her off. I can’t stop. Something in her music spins me back a lifetime. And as disconcerting and disarming as it is, I want more. I want more of my old life, more of old me, and more of LP.
Here are two versions of her song Lost On You. When I first heard it, I had a strange sense of déjà vu. Even though I knew I hadn’t heard of her. But I feel her, and now I can’t remember a time when I didn’t know of her. There is no “before LP”.
It’s alive, can you feel it taking hold again?
In your mind, all your demons are rattling chains
Welcome to a world of pain
I’m all about sweet, feminine vocals. Totally enraptured. I just want to float away into the ether on Joy Williams’ voice. Please and thank you.
But I won’t cry for yesterday
There’s an ordinary world
Somehow I have to find
And as I try to make my way
To the ordinary world
I will learn to survive
And now for something a bit different that I love!
A big yes to this beat! And a super creepy video clip.
Addicted to this song and especially this cover. Cannot get enough of Clea’s vocals.
Things fall apart. Nothing nothing nothing gon’ save me now…