On a Tuesday because I was at a concert last night. But. Nothing to see here.
Today I wrote two little words I wasn’t expecting to write until tomorrow. And yet, here we are. At this point.
My feet are tingling like they do when you have pins and needles, numb, as if you’ve been sitting awkwardly cutting off your circulation, but in that sweet spot, before the blood rushes back into the capillaries and it starts to sting.
The cells, the atoms in my cells, are vibrating with energy. The energy of having finished. It is a gentle excitement. Soft. Like the way you realise you are recovered. After the fact. You do not notice it at first because recovery, like writing, feels like a slog. Every step is an effort. You wade through concrete. You make progress. And you don’t. There is resistance. The task seems overwhelming and you pause at various points to take a breath. To rest. There is no ticker-tape parade upon success. No party. There might have been, if you’d noticed it at the time. But even as you were thinking your last disordered thought, even as you were writing your final sentence, you didn’t know. And then you did.
So what do you do when you finish writing a book?
- You write the end
- You drink cider in the sunshine with a friend
- You buy yourself some flowers
- You go for a run
- You make dinner for the family
- You water your plants
- You hug your partner
- You feed the cat
- You write a blog post
- You begin again, a new story
I have been finished with the story I’ve written for longer than I’ve been writing it. Soon, lovely readers, I will hand it over to you.
When I left Queensland a few years ago, I sold the piano I’d had since I was 10.
There is a swelling storm
And I’m caught up in the middle of it all
And it takes control
Of the person that I thought I was
Music had been one of the keys to my recovery — my piano, instrumental to the re-connection with my heart.
Memories, of a stolen place
Caught in the silence
An echo lost in space
A couple of years ago, my partner bought me a piano for my birthday.
Moments of magic and wonder
It seems so hard to find
It is the best present I’ve ever been given and is much more than 88 keys in a wooden box. Right now, I’m learning to play this.